Things I Hate About Slash---Part 2

Yes, I know. It's been awhile since I've been on-topic with my blog. I apologize to my adoring fans... all three of ya.

Anyway, as you can see by the title of this post, this is going to be yet another installment of my "Things I Hate About Slash" series. And today's topic is: The Use of Lover, Boyfriend, and perhaps worst of all, Husband in slash fics.

So, what's the general rule when it comes to putting them in a fic? Don't.

Now, before you come at me with torches and pitch forks, allow me to explain. Let's start with Lover.

The reason why I cringe ever time I read this word in a fic is simple: It sounds like I'm reading a trashy romance novel, not a slash fanfiction. And hey, you know, some fics where meant to sound like a cheesy romance novel...those are called crack fics because, well, have you ever met anyone who wasn't a delusional housewife that took a romance novel seriously?

If the answer is yes...just, leave now.

This is part of the reason why slashers have so many "haters". Non-slashers think that we write these fics because we are a bunch of horny little teenage girls who can't get any. And, where do they get this idea from? Well, from the fics that are written like, say it with me, and crappy, unrealistic, romance novel!

There are various ways I've seen Lover being used in fics. One way is durning, before or after sex.

During and after aren't so bad. It's usually like "And he looked down at his lover and...blahblahblah". But before is, *shudders*. I don't see this a lot (thank God) but when I do, it usually in a sentence like "He kissed his soon-to-be lover..."--just. No. Ok. Like, what the frig does that even MEAN?!

And if you think that's bad, oh just you wait. It gets worse. How? The characters actually refer to each other as "Lover". Like, out loud. I'd rather have one of them calling the other "baby" or "snookiepuss" the entire fic than have them call each other "lover" once. Seriously, no one uses that word in real life! Ever. I've never heard anyone use that word, when they were serious at least so not only is it out of character for the characters you're writing about, it's out of character for life in general.

Now let's move on to Boyfriend.

This ones a bit of a grey area. Hell, ok I'll admit it. I've used this in fics before. But here's the catch, they were AU (alternate universe) high school fics! Oh and they were RPS too. I think using the B word in RPS is a lot more acceptable than in fake people slash(?) because, I don't know. To me it just seems more believable. But, again, they're usually not dropping these words left and right. It's usually only once, maybe twice that you'll come across it in a fic. And it's almost always in the narrative part of the story, never said out loud. Well, not to one another at least. If they're talking to someone else and are like "Oh yeah he's my boyfriend" then whatever. I can deal with that because that's how people talk in real life.

Ok, yeah, but Husband, I absolutely cannot deal with. Ever. And it's not because I don't support gay marriage, because I definitely do. The government has not right to tell people who then can be with and who they can't. But "husband" just doesn't sound right. And I really am not a fan of stories where people are married and have kids and living this cute domestic life. Alright in most cases I'm not a fan of those. But again, all of this just depends on which characters or people you're using in your fic. Most of the time it's OOC for two people to settle down and play "house" but on rare occasions it's not. And if they are married and you do feel the need to tell people that in your story, well than, use the word partner. It just sounds better, more real so to speak.

Alright, well that's all I have to say about that.

Catch you on the flip side!

~Allie