Things I Hate About Slash--Part 3

Mpreg.

Need I say more? Well, actually I probably should since I'm dedicating a whole blog post to it and all.

For those of you who are like "Mpreg...huh?", this is simply just short for Male Pregnancy. And yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. You have a slash pairing, and miraculously one of the guys gets pregnant and they have the kid like there's nothing wrong and go about their merry life.

There are a few different ways people go about doing this, well I suppose. I've only read one Mpreg fic in my life, and I just couldn't wrap my brain around it. The explanation for the pregnancy in that fic was that one of the guys was a hermaphrodite and yeah. You can guess the rest. Now, I don't know how that story ended...or let alone how he even had the baby...because after that I was immediately turned off.

For me, I just think it's unnatural. Not that I have anything against hermaphrodites or people who get sex changes from female to male but still keep all their lady parts just in case they want to have kids...but NONE of the characters in any of the fandoms that have Mpreg fics fall into either of those categories, so therefore it's majorly OOC. Not to mention...how would they squeeze a baby through that tiny little hole? Unless they...ugh. Ew. I don't want to think about it.

So, in conclusion, Mpreg=no. And this is coming from someone who reads and writes and promotes Incest between two Irish twins. I've read a lot of weird shit in my day, and I'll try anything once, but seriously people, the line has to be drawn somewhere.

Also, as a side note, if you ARE gunna write an Mpreg fic (why?????) make sure you specify that it is in fact Mpreg in the summary...or the warnings because, just like with specifying that it's a slash fic, your potential readers don't like to be tricked into reading something they don't like.

Sorry if I offended anyone...but the title of the post is Things I hate about Slash.

Catch You on the FlipSide!

~Allie

Slash vs. Bromance: Why They're SO Different, They're Almost the Same.

So, I'm taking a break from my "Things I Hate About Slash" series (don't worry, I still have plenty more to say on that...) and addressing something that is often overlooked when it comes to slash fiction. And that is the slight but HUGE difference between the terms "Slash" and "Bromance"

A lot of people think these terms are interchangeable, but they're not. Here's why (courtesy of Urban Dictionary):

Bromance- (n): A non-sexual relationship between two males that are unusually close.

Slash-(n): Word used in fanfiction to denote homosexual pairings. Usually male/male, sometimes female/female AKA femmeslash. Often used interchangeably with Yaoi or Yuri.

If you haven't realized it by now, the main difference between the two is sex. This is why these terms are not really interchangeable. Though, if you think about it, you can't really have one without the other. Like, obviously bromances often lead to more slashy things...*wink*

I'm not saying I prefer one over the other, because I have used both terms. The trick is knowing when it's appropriate to use one in favor of the other and the times when some couples can be described using both.

What I have found is that "bromance" seems to be the term people default to because it's easier to digest. For example, I use it when I'm talking to my mom about slash. I've tried using the term "slash" before and though she knows what it is, she can't seem to quite wrap her head around it just yet. So, for people who are just coming to see the slashy world around them, bromance is a good way to start them off, it sort of eases them into it if they're a tad uncomfortable at first.

Also, bromance seems to be used more when it comes to RPS, like Pinto (Chris Pine/Zach Quinto), Flandus (Sean Patrick Flanery/ Norman Reedus), Robert Downy Jr./Jude Law (If they have a clever ship name, I don't know it), STango (Steve/Tango from Ghost Hunters) and the list goes on. So when they're out and about and in public and in the eyes of the ever-present media, it's a bromance. Their interviews, outtakes, what have you, are the "bromance" aspect of their relationship. Because they wouldn't be that stupid to do something sexual in public. Though, those of us with a working pair of slash goggle know how to detect those subtle behavioral things that show us that they are indeed fucking.

Bromance could also be used to describe a pair of guys that are sooooo on the road to doing eachother but haven't really realized it themselves yet. For example Neal and Peter from White Collar and Arthur and Merlin from Merlin. Both of these shows are relatively new so we are just starting to see their relationship develop. Although, Arthur and Merlin definitely haven't had sex yet, they seem to be more comfortable being flirty around each other than Neal and Peter do.

And, in case you're wondering how you can tell if a bromance has moved on to full fledged slash, well you can just tell. Seasoned slashers always can. And if you can't, well that's what fanfictions are for.

So there you have it, the difference between Bromances and Slash. I hope this helped to clear things up, because I know the lines between these two can be a bit blurry at times. But, when it all comes down to it, they really do complement each other because, let's face it, you can't spell bromance without romance.

Catch you on the flip side!

~Allie

Random...

...and sort of off topic but, I felt like I needed to say this. Plus, it's my blog so I can do whatever the hell I want. Ok, so, I've decided that I really hate when people refer to Conner and Murphy as the "Boondock Saints". Like, lemme give you an example:

(The following conversation actually happened, though I may have paraphrased a little)

Me: So, in the third movie, I think Smecker is going to break them out to use them to his own advantage.

Someone who shall remain nameless: Wait, who? The Boondock Saints?

No. Ok just, no. The Boondock Saints is the name of the movie, fer cryin' out loud. Conner and Murphy are simply "Conner and Murphy", "Conn and Murph", "The MacManus Brothers", "The Brothers MacManus", "Those sexy Irish twin brothers that I would fuck straight into next week", or just "The Saints".

Seriously people, get it right. I don't appreciate it and neither do they ("They" of course being Conner and Murphy).

So yeah. Just wanted to get that out there cuz it's be bothering me for the past like week.

Catch you on the flip side.

~Allie

Things I Hate About Slash---Part 2

Yes, I know. It's been awhile since I've been on-topic with my blog. I apologize to my adoring fans... all three of ya.

Anyway, as you can see by the title of this post, this is going to be yet another installment of my "Things I Hate About Slash" series. And today's topic is: The Use of Lover, Boyfriend, and perhaps worst of all, Husband in slash fics.

So, what's the general rule when it comes to putting them in a fic? Don't.

Now, before you come at me with torches and pitch forks, allow me to explain. Let's start with Lover.

The reason why I cringe ever time I read this word in a fic is simple: It sounds like I'm reading a trashy romance novel, not a slash fanfiction. And hey, you know, some fics where meant to sound like a cheesy romance novel...those are called crack fics because, well, have you ever met anyone who wasn't a delusional housewife that took a romance novel seriously?

If the answer is yes...just, leave now.

This is part of the reason why slashers have so many "haters". Non-slashers think that we write these fics because we are a bunch of horny little teenage girls who can't get any. And, where do they get this idea from? Well, from the fics that are written like, say it with me, and crappy, unrealistic, romance novel!

There are various ways I've seen Lover being used in fics. One way is durning, before or after sex.

During and after aren't so bad. It's usually like "And he looked down at his lover and...blahblahblah". But before is, *shudders*. I don't see this a lot (thank God) but when I do, it usually in a sentence like "He kissed his soon-to-be lover..."--just. No. Ok. Like, what the frig does that even MEAN?!

And if you think that's bad, oh just you wait. It gets worse. How? The characters actually refer to each other as "Lover". Like, out loud. I'd rather have one of them calling the other "baby" or "snookiepuss" the entire fic than have them call each other "lover" once. Seriously, no one uses that word in real life! Ever. I've never heard anyone use that word, when they were serious at least so not only is it out of character for the characters you're writing about, it's out of character for life in general.

Now let's move on to Boyfriend.

This ones a bit of a grey area. Hell, ok I'll admit it. I've used this in fics before. But here's the catch, they were AU (alternate universe) high school fics! Oh and they were RPS too. I think using the B word in RPS is a lot more acceptable than in fake people slash(?) because, I don't know. To me it just seems more believable. But, again, they're usually not dropping these words left and right. It's usually only once, maybe twice that you'll come across it in a fic. And it's almost always in the narrative part of the story, never said out loud. Well, not to one another at least. If they're talking to someone else and are like "Oh yeah he's my boyfriend" then whatever. I can deal with that because that's how people talk in real life.

Ok, yeah, but Husband, I absolutely cannot deal with. Ever. And it's not because I don't support gay marriage, because I definitely do. The government has not right to tell people who then can be with and who they can't. But "husband" just doesn't sound right. And I really am not a fan of stories where people are married and have kids and living this cute domestic life. Alright in most cases I'm not a fan of those. But again, all of this just depends on which characters or people you're using in your fic. Most of the time it's OOC for two people to settle down and play "house" but on rare occasions it's not. And if they are married and you do feel the need to tell people that in your story, well than, use the word partner. It just sounds better, more real so to speak.

Alright, well that's all I have to say about that.

Catch you on the flip side!

~Allie

Movie Review--Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day

****Warning: This review contains spoilers.****

Ok, so after months of waiting, actually more like agonizing, to see this movie I finally, FINALLY, got the privilege of seeing it today. And let me just say...Holy. Shit.

This movie, well it was a lot better than I was expecting. Not that I thought it'd be bad in any way shape or form, but I was hearing a lot of mixed reviews from people who supposedly "loved" the first one. But I usually take those reviews with a grain of salt. The only thing I was worried about with BDS2 was that it wouldn't live up to the hype that came with being the sequel to one of the greatest cult-classics in history. And to say I was pleasantly surprised was an understatement.

The movie starts off with...Rocco! Yes, David Della Rocco, in da flesh! He just kinda does this cool little walking around the empty streets of Boston while a voice over plays of him talking about, well basically what the Saints are all about.

Cut to Ireland, where we find the brothers MacManus in a situation reminiscent of Brokeback Mountain...NOT like that you sickos (they would never actually SHOW that on camera *cough*)! I'm just saying they're watching sheep, in a valley, on horseback. Oh and they look like a couple of homeless guys. Obviously, the point is, they're living a new life now. Until they get word that a priest was murdered back in Boston at the hands of Yakavetta. A new one. Obviously. And just like that...BAM! Cue the badass music and Conner and Murphy are back in business MothaFuckers!!!

And of course what would a Boondock movie be without the three stooges themselves: Detectives Dolly, Duffy and last but certainly not least, Greenly. This new Saint "copy-cat" has stirred up some shit, ripped the skeletons right out of their closets. And they're fucking scared. Especially now that Special Agent Eunice Bloom is on the case.

We find out that she was Smecker's protégé, and she is just like him. I was a little worried when I found out that a chick was stepping into the man's world of Boondock. That she was just basically going to be replacement for Smecker...or even worse. A love interest.

But replacement she was not and love interest she was definitely not. Well, unless you count Greenly desperately wanting to get in her pants. But I really couldn't blame him, 'cause well, it's Greenly. Not to mention, Agent Bloom was a total badass.

So, while Greenly and the gang have conniptions about possibly getting found out, we join Conner and Murphy on a boat on their way to the states. There they meet their new sidekick, Romeo. Who's kind of stupid, but also pretty badass.

And, I just need to say this, Murphy tattooing Conner... while they talk about what they should've done with their hair for a disguise. Murphy suggests they dye their hair and Conner giggles. And then Murphy says he'd dye his hair blond, and Conner calls him a gay surfer dude, and just omg it's amazing.

But that's enough squee about that. So, they get to the States and they want to send Yakavetta a "Hey we're here!" message, so they kill some of his Asian drug runners. Now, he AND the Boston police know they're here.

Then the brothers and Romeo pay a visit to good 'ole Doc down at McGinty's and they get shit-faced. And it's good times. Then at one point, Conn and Murph go visit Rocco, laugh about how they used his mug shot. Kill some more people. Meet Eunice, figure out she's on their side and that she has no intention of turning the detectives in (she's just making 'em sweat a little).

Conner and Murphy are reunited with Dolly, Greenly and Duffy, and they help take down Yakavetta. And that's when shit starts to hit the fan.

During the investigation, some other Suit comes in an tells Eunice that she's off the case, and that's no good 'cause this guy is NOT on the Saints' side. And to make matters worse, Yakavetta was just a pawn, and that there's someone bigger behind this. Codename: The Old Man. Or the Roman. Or something. All you need to know that he was the one who got ll Duce doing what he was doing. He's also the one that sold him out and landed him behind bars for 25 to life.

So of course, our boys need to do something about it.

So how does it end? Greenly and Da are dead. Conner, Murphy, Romeo are in prison and people are outraged saying that they should "Free the Saints". Eunice goes into hiding only to find out that Smecker hasn't faked his own death and now plan to break them out.

And, to pass the time until then, Conner and Murphy have plans of their own. Not to escape, but to kill every last one of the scumbags that reside in Hoag Maximum Security Prison.

Any questions? No? Good. Now, I'm going to move on to critiquing the film. Mostly from a technical aspect but there were some other issues I had as well. Nothing major though.

Ok, so the mobsters this time around, I don't know. I wasn't really feeling the new Yakavetta and his gang. Well, most of his gang. Also, I loved Eunice, but Julie Benz wasn't very constant with the southern accent of the character. Sometimes it would be too thick, and other times it was normal. So that's really just the actress's fault. But I think she did a fabulous job other wise.

One of the biggest complaints I saw was that it didn't really FEEL like Boondock Saints. Which, I have to agree with that in some ways. The lighting was weird in this movie, and it sort of took away the gritty, raw, feel that the original Boondock had. Also, the pacing felt a little rushed in some places, and a lot of things seemed like they were happening quicker than they should have.

Also, the film seemed to jump around at times and the editing of some scenes looked a little, uhm, thrown together? I don't know if that was what Troy Duffy was going for or not, I think some of the editing choices didn't really read well.

But enough of that bad stuff. Because it really was an awesome movie that had my attention the entire time. However, it seemed to be a little more light hearted than the original, especially in the beginning. My favorite scene though had to be the dream sequence towards the end, which reunited Rocco, Conner and Murphy and the awesome opening song from Boondock 1. And Greenly! He was there too! It was just...beyond epic.

Another thing I loved was that All Saints Day incorporated quite a bit of the soundtrack from the original. Not so much in the beginning though, which is why I think a lot of people said that it didn't feel like a Boondock movie. Something was definitely off at the start, though I couldn't put my finger on it until I heard those familiar tunes from the first one. Then I was like YES! Now it's Boondock Saints!

And, I guess the only thing that's left to say is this: BRING ON BOONDOCK SAINTS 3!!!

Oh and, as always, Catch you on the flip side ;)

~Allie

My Top 10....Favorite Movies of ALL Time.

Because I am bored and currently have nothing else to do, I've decided now would be as good a time as any to start my "Top 10" series. And obviously I'm going to start things off with my favorite movies. This list has been a long time coming. I always say 'Oh this movie is in my top 10 fer shure!' but I've always wanted to know...is it really? So basically this is what I came up with. The list goes from 10 to 1, with 10 being my "least" favorite and 1 being my "most" favorite. How I decided which films would make the list is basically I went through my favorite movies on my facebook and asked myself which 10 out of how ever many are on there do I never say no to watching? And then I picked the order from there. I'll also include a brief list of Honorable Mentions at the end, because I really didn't want to leave any out, but having like a 6-way tie for number 10 would have just been excessive. So, without any further adieu...

#10:

The Emperor's New Groove

Yes. I'm very well aware that this is a kids movie but do I care? Obviously not if it made my Top 10. The reason why it's on here is because no matter how old I get, I will always laugh at this movie. Also, when I was younger and I first rented this movie, I literally watched it like 2-3 times a day until we had to return it (Oh the good ole' days of Blockbuster...) and every time they played it on Disney channel, I'd be watching it as well. Then I finally decided to ask for it for Christmas, like 3 years ago. To me it's just a fun movie that's kind of off the beaten path from all the other Disney movies. It's also a very quotable movie, which to me is important, cuz I love sticking random movie quotes in normal conversation. But then again, who doesn't?

#9

The Wedding Singer

I first saw this movie not too long ago (I'd say maybe 3 years ago...) but I fell in love with it instantly. It's a romantic comedy but they manage to not make it cheesy which I can appreciate because that's the reason why I hate most Rom-Coms. Again, another hilarious movie with great music ("Somebody Kill Me" and "Grow Old With You"? Can you say classics?). You can't not have a smile on your face when you're watching this movie.

#8

The Patriot

As soon as I saw this movie in my 11th grade US History class, I was hooked. I know there's a lot of criticisms about how it basically turned the American Revolution into a melodrama, but I don't really care. Historically accurate or not, it's a great movie. I know my previous 2 picks were comedies, but I'd take a blood and guts war movie over a Rom-Com any day. Also, Heath Ledger is sexy (may he RIP *tear*). And I've always loved colonial times and history, so there ya go.

#7

Troy

Ok so, sexy men with slashy undertones? This is my kind of movie. Also, blood and guts and war has something to do with it too. Again, this is another instance where my love of this movie involved watching it every day for a period of time. But that eventually had to stop because this movie is just ridiculously long. And yes I know this movie deviates from the Trojan myth, but again, I don't care. It's a well made film and the way they went about making it (I've watched the bonus feature multiple times) is amazing. Or maybe I'm just a dork when it comes to that kind of stuff. *shrug*

#6

Anchorman

One of the funniest movies off all time, in my opinion. Also one of the most quotable. I do have to say though, I didn't love it the first time I saw it. But after the second time I watched, it was a lot funnier than I remembered. And, like I said, this movie is quoted by everyone, so if you haven't seen it, you should deff get on that. Unless you don't like keeping up with pop culture.

#5

The Departed

No matter how many times you watch this movie, it never gets old. And the cast, omg. It should be illegal to have that many awesome and sexy people in one movie. While this is a film that you kind of have to see more than once to really get the full effect, you definitely won't be disappointed after you watch it the first time. Also, I'm a sucker for any movie that has people with accents and Irish overtones.

#4

National Treasure

Slash and conspiracy theories. Two things that I can't get enough of. And when they're in the same movie, forget it. Damn near perfection. Action, humor, mystery and of course, slashy subtext, this movie has it all. The only thing I don't like about it is Abigail, which is a shame because she was a pretty cool character until they had to go and be all cliche and pair her with Ben. But then again, this is a Disney movie, so cliche is to be expected. And Riley's so adorable that it's pretty easy to get past the cheesy elements. And it also helps that in the second movie Ben and Abigail are broken up throughout most of it. Plus, the fanfictions in this fandom are pretty strong as well.

#3

Star Trek:2009

Sexy men, super cool special effects, space (the final frontier) and slash. All the ingredients for a great movie, and Star Trek does not disappoint. Now, going into this movie, I knew little about the Trek universe. Basically I knew Spock, Kirk, and Scotty and not to wear red or else you will die. But even though I knew the bare minimum, that didn't stop me from throughly enjoying this movie. And then in that long long wait for it to come out on DVD, I acquainted myself with TOS and all it's wonder, before watching the movie twice online and once at a movie night at my school. This is the type of movie that the more times you watch it, the better and better it gets. Not to mention the hilarious gag reel and awesome DVD commentary. Again the only flawed thing about this movie was pairing Uhura, a female character that was totally badass, with Spock, a move that I think was very out of character for both of them. Luckily though, true Trekkies can tell the they have Zero chemistry. And hopefully they avoid the romance factor in the sequel. Unless of course it's Kirk/Spock. ;)

#2

Die Hard

So, Die Hard's probably a little mad at me right now because up until about a month ago, it was the undisputed leader of my favorite movies (and then two sexy Irish twins with guns came along...). It has all the makings of a perfect movie, action, humor, suspense...everywhere you look. I was literally on the edge of my seat, yelling at the TV for almost the entire movie. And Hans Gruber is definitely one of the best movie villains of all time, and without a doubt the best out of all four Die Hard movies. And Bruce Willis in the 80s? Sexy!!!

And now for #1:

The Boondock Saints

I don't think there are words on this planet to describe how perfect this movie is. And when I say that it's basically my obsession, you don't even know the half of it. The characters are perfect, a normally over done premise is done in a completely new and original way and uhm sexy Irish brothers that may or may not be doing it anyone? If you don't like this movie, either you didn't watch it with your undivided attention or the concept just completely went over your head. And yes, I've heard that the director Troy Duffy's an asshole, but I really don't give a shit. He made an amazing movie with a shitty budget and limited filming time. Not to mention it was blacklisted from being shown in theaters and yet STILL managed to gain cult status. And, like I said, I am obsessed. I've read the script, I've watched the deleted scenes and the gag reel and the actual movie more times than any healthy person should. The soundtrack is on my ipod as well as the prayer and the court room speech at the end....both of which I am proud to say I have memorized. I don't even know why I love it so much, but I do, and that's never going to change.

And last but not least:

Honorable Mentions: I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, Night at the Museum 1&2, Brokeback Mountain, Office Space, Batman Begins, Blades of Glory, Over the Hedge, Hercules.

Catch you on the Flip Side!!!

~Allie

Things I Hate About Slash---Part 1

I bet you were a little confused when you saw the title of this post. Well, here's my explanation for it: Slash isn't perfect. In fact it's far from it, just like everything else in the world. Now, don't get me wrong, I've come across some pretty flawless fics in my time, and in some fandoms finding one may be harder than others, but it's not impossible. Every fandom has fics that are basically perfection, you just have to be prepared to weed through a lot different fics to get to it. It's an exhausting process and on the quest to find the perfect fic you'll come across stories that actually aren't that bad, in fact some are pretty damn good. But with the pretty damn good and halfway decent comes the fics that were better off staying in the author's head. And, unfortunately, those fics are a lot more common than they should be.

Now, there are a lot of factors that could make a fic, well, bad for lack of a better word. Maybe the idea was good but the author fell short of the hype that idea entailed. Or maybe the author just didn't have a good enough grasp of the characters. Really, the list is endless, but you get the idea.

So, in this "Things I Hate About Slash" series, I will be highlighting some of the most common things from the aforementioned endless list. Now, bear in mind that most of this is based on my own (and a few others) personal preferences and opinions. But then again, this is a blog so I'm allowed to give my own opinion because, hello, I'm writing it. So, if you're not comfortable with that (the basic idea of blogging, basically), well you can go back to refreshing your Facebook page every 2 and half minutes.

With that out of the way, let us begin.

Pet Names and Nicknames: When they work and When they just fail.

When you write slash, more likely than not you're writing about a couple. Or a potential couple or whatever. And everybody who's ever been in a relationship knows that cheesy little pet names come with the territory, that's just how life is. However, fanfiction kind of defies laws of real life, so even if the characters are a couple in a long established relationship, pet names just tend to make things a little too cheesy.

But then again it all depends on how you use them and the pairing etc. As a general rule of thumb, here are some pet names that you should try to avoid using in slash fics:

Baby/babe(unless during sex)

Sweetie/Sweetheart

Darling

Dear

Hunny/Hun

Love (This one's a grey area. It can be sexy if used sparingly, and it also depends on the pairing. And if one of the guys are British or Australian)

These are just some of the basics. And the reason I say you should avoid them is they have a tendency to make the characters sound a little too gay. The problem with that is, usually the characters you're portraying in your fics aren't that gay. Most people would argue that they're not even gay at all. So it really just comes down to an in character/out of character issue.

Now on to nicknames. I don't have as much of a problem with nicknames as I do with petnames, but only if the characters actually use nicknames a lot in canon. Let me explain what I mean...

Take Jack and Daniel from the show Stargate SG-1. There are fics out there where Jack will refer to Daniel as "Danny" the entire time. Now, yes, Jack does call Daniel "Danny" maybe twice throughout the entire series, but I wouldn't consider that part of canon. Same goes for Dannyboy and Spacemonkey. Jack doesn't use it enough in the real series, so it wouldn't make sense for him to use it a lot in the fic.

But if you look at something like Lost on the other hand and the pairing of Jack and Sawyer, nicknames would be ok, because Sawyer uses them multiple times in the series. In fact, he rarely ever calls Jack by his real name.

This is also acceptable in RPS (real person slash) cases. Examples would be, Sean Patrick Flanery and Norman Reedus. Sean calls Norm "Normy" so that would be ok to put in a fic. Or Michael Johns calling David Cook "Dave" or "Davey" or "Cookie" (also if Dave calls Mike "Mikey") because it actually happened in real life.

RPS though is a whole different can of worms than regular fanfiction because now you're writing about real people as apposed to characters so the lines are a bit blurrier.

Like I said before, this is based on my personal preferences when it all comes down to it. So, if I insulted you in any way, my bad. I'm just trying to do my part to make the slash world a better place.

Catch You on the Flip Side!

~Allie